The scripture readings for today's reflection can be found at https://bible.usccb.org/bible/readings/081420.cfm
Our gospel for today deals with the
challenge of personal relationships and marriage. The Pharisees are looking at
marriage in a very selfish way, asking Jesus: “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any cause whatever?” Jesus reminds them of the serious and
spiritual aspect of marriage “…from the beginning the Creator made them male and female. For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.”
However, the Pharisees were not content with Jesus’ response.
They asked him why Moses commanded a man to give a woman “a bill of divorce.”
Jesus did not directly answer their question. Rather, he told them that Moses
allowed divorce because of the “hardness of heart” that was in the people.
Jesus added: “Anyone who divorces his spouse and marries another woman, commits
adultery.” These are extremely strong and unsettling words!
As we know, in today’s world, divorce is very prevalent. In
many ways we have become a throw-away society. If we’re not happy with
something, we just toss it into the junk pile and move on to the next
attraction. It’s easier to just walk away from our relationships than to try to
work it out and stay together.
If a marriage is not working, the couple may decide to divorce
rather than go to counseling. If a marriage is not working out, they may decide
to walk away from their vows. If one spouse has hurts the other, he or she may
decide to end the relationship. It would be too difficult and painful to work
it out. And would they ever be able to trust each other again?
Jesus was challenging the Pharisees and is challenging us to
look at our relationships through the eyes of God. Relationships with others,
especially in marriage, is not always easy. As Jesus points out, not everyone
is meant to be married. But once in that relationship of marriage, we need to
remember that in marriage, we are but one flesh. We need to be ready to have
God as the center of that relationship to work out the challenges with love and
forgiveness. Further, we need to be grateful to God for the presence of that
person in our lives, as we live out the marriage promise: “In good times and in
bad times, in sickness and in health.”
Lord Jesus Christ bless all married couples with the gift of
your love and patience. Amen.
Very good post.
ReplyDeleteI respond as one of the minority of people who are blessed to be called to remain single & celibate: less work, less sacrifice, less stress & less aggravation & more freedom to pursue my career, my ministries & my interests unencumbered!
During the time of Our LORD's earthly ministry there were two schools of rabbinical thought about marriage: one more liberal believed that a man could divorce his wife for any reason, even if she burned the meal, as long as he gave her a "bill of divorce". These were very sexist times, because a man could divorce his wife for any reason, but although the wife could easily be tossed out, a woman could not divorce her husband for ANY reason. So the Samaritan Woman at the Well was not like Elizabeth Taylor who chose to divorce 6 or 7 husbands, but she had been abandoned through death or abandoned & rejected through divorce by 5 husbands through no decision of her own & her self-esteem & reputation was so damaged that she consented to co-habitation, which was not only wrong but not as easily accepted by society as it is these days. The more conservative school rejected divorce. When tested, Our LORD JESUS reminded those testing Him of the original intent our Father God had for marriage.
My parents were married for 64 years until my Dad passed away at the age of 91 on August 16, 2014. They served the LORD, one another, their family & extended family & the Church as complementary partners. They took advantage of the opportunity to renew their vows at Mass on their 25th, 50th & 60th anniversaries. Of course, they had their differences & got on each others nerves from time to time, but they bore with one another's differences & quirks (some of which NEVER CHANGED), forgave one another, never went to bed angry & had a good sense of humor. My Dad was sometimes prone to be gruff or grumpy or yell or become thoughtless & my Mom was deep, gentle & sensitive. But neither held grudges & they accepted one another. If my Dad had done something that unintentionally hurt Mom--and I don't think either of my parents EVER did anything to hurt one another deliberately--and Mom got very quiet, my Dad would sing a parody of the Gene Autry song "BACK IN THE SADDLE AGAIN" with the words "BACK IN THE DOGHOUSE AGAIN". Eventually Mom would laugh & forgive him. Even though I think my Dad never fully understood my Mom, I think my Mom understood my Dad quite well. (Sometimes I have suggested that my Mom deserved the Congressional medal of honor. LOL!)
Especially on the occasions when my parents renewed their vows, when people found out how long my parents were married & still devoted to one another, my Dad would quip "the first hundred years are the hardest" but Mom would say "PUT JESUS AT THE CENTER OF YOUR MARRIAGE" & sometimes add the part about never going to bed angry.
So, yes, mutually being centered in the LORD, Who provides the grace to love sacrificially, to endure life with its ups & downs together, to forgive one another & to love one another sacrificially PLUS have a sense of humor can be the key to be faithful to the vows of marriage & to love one another with full commitment & devotion for life. I would also add that a blessed married love does not merely consist of gazing at one another but of looking together in the same direction: upwardly to God & outwardly in service to others whom God calls you to serve in partnership with one another.